I went down to Houston last weekend. I’ve been down several times since the family moved back to our old hometown, but they were out on vacation, and this was the first time that allowed time for meandering trips down memory lane. The house we lived in when I first started driving. The long-gone pool where I learned to swim. The places I used to go to church, meet friends, be a kid, grow up.

While the trip as a whole was a blast, the historical tour was a remarkable drag. I don’t want to be who I was then. Not remotely.

Working in marketing has been fun- learning about manipulation on a macro scale is something everyone should learn, if only to be wary of all the ways you are pushed in ordained directions every single day. The office has been abuzz recently with chatter about logos. Logos are to marketing what flour is to bread, seems to me.

I drove around the geographical locations of my history, and my mind wandered to this article that you might have seen recently. It felt like I was remembering old logos of myself. I’ve always had dark hair, and the same last name, but almost everything else has morphed one way or another. There have been numerous re-designs, a million makeovers. Which is to be expected, I guess. Growing up and developing personalities and standards and aesthetics is never a static process. I was a first class dork in Houston. And judgmental and rude. Still comes out more than I’d like it to, but As a whole, I think the difference is vast.

Some of the inner workings remained the same, though. Up until recently I always had a desire to win. All the logos have dreamt of being icons. Firmly rooted in a deep desire to combat any obstacle, leap any hurdle, control any rogue emotions, soothe any destructive purpose, bring kingdom, see God, rule myself and the world.

And in this last year my mind and heart have shorted out on all the things that have not made sense, and my logo has kinda taken on a Comic Sans feel. Crass and artless, depressing and ignorable. It’s a shitty logo, phoned in by a 12 year old.

But I don’t really know what I’m selling anymore. I still have an inkling of trust that the next logo will be something inspiring. A fierce brand, that when you look at it, it makes you feel powerful, alive and safe at home all at the same time. But I don’t know when that will come. Or why I’m stuck with Comic Sans.

Hit the reset button, already. Please. Please?